To all the girls I've loved before...

Seems I am on a song theme as of late. 

I will turn 40 this year. And so I have taken particular interest in posts, blogs, articles and songs that highlight what to expect when your expecting your youth is over. (Which it isn't but that is an entirely different blog). What has stood out is that with age, comes an appreciation for one's self.  I am by no means narcissistic, in fact I am very critical of my self...but I am getting better at being okay with me.  I can recognize my flaws. I appreciate the person I have become and will one day be. What I know is that I am the product of my past. A good portion of my past is the relationships I have had. 

I am not talking boyfriends, I am talking girlfriends. Some from elementary school, junior high, high school, university, work, teams, and mother's of my kids friends.  Some of these relationships have stood the test of time. Some were flashes in a pan. Some continue to evolve while others are eroding. I can mourn the loss of friends due to 'growing apart', or I can be thankful for the opportunity and time we once shared. So, this post is for all of you girls I have loved. 

You have taught me that words hurt more than pulling hair. That laughing when you are supposed to be sleeping is a slumber party must. You have taught me that we go to the washroom in pairs and wear elastic bands on our wrists in case you need an emergency ponytail. You have taught me that best friends forever is only a moment in time but it is a fierce loyalty in that period. You have taught me to use clear nail polish to stop a pantyhose hole from getting bigger and to lean forward in a picture to avoid an unnecessary double chin. You have taught me that jealousy is ugly and will poison your spirit. You have taught me to back-comb my bangs (why did we do this?) and how to take my bra off without removing my shirt. You have taught me how to look confident when the world looks intimidating. You have taught me that dance parties and playing dress-up isn't just for teenagers. You have taught me how to drink peach/peppermint schnapps and how to order a Manhattan. You have held my hand through the sprinkler, at graduation, during a scary movie, and when my baby was in ICU.  You have broken my heart and lifted my spirit. 

To all my girls, I love all the lessons. To all my girls, I love you. 

Stay happy and healthy

www.jomoma.ca

All you need is love

A short but sweet blog this week. LOVE. 

"There's nothing you can do that can't be done..." 

The Beatles nailed it. 

Love fuels everything. Or at the very least it ought to be the driving force. Unfortunately we have a tendency to be energized by the negative. We hold onto bad feelings. We stay involved in harmful relationships (friend, business, intimate) for fear of the unknown. We get caught up watching/listening to 'bad' news. Constant exposure to the 'poisons' will kill. Period. It slowly eats away at you, taking up space in your head and heart until you are consumed by it. It critically impacts and affects your mood and your health. 

Move away from the negative. It is as easy as that. 

Spend your energy on the people and things that you love. The negative stuff (people, places, things) do not deserve your time. The good does. And as luck would have it, the more time you spend on your loves, the smaller the negatives become. 

"Nothing you can know that isn't known

Nothing you can see that isn't shown

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

It's easy

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need

All you need is love (All together, now!)

All you need is love (Everybody!)"

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Before and After

Before and after... 

Often we imagine or assume that the 'before' is less attractive. We have come to expect that 'before' is the ugliness of a person, place or thing, BEFORE some transformation has changed it for the better. The better has been referred to as the 'after'. 

Let's get some clarity. Goals are incredible. They motivate. When successfully achieved they are what we deem our 'after'. But it is the 'before' that is most important. 'Before' is where we made the decision to make the change. 'Before' is where we set our goal and made a choice to reach for something different. 'Before' takes guts. It is where the change is born. It cannot be seen by outsiders. It is an idea, a thought, a belief, a desire, a dream and a wish. It is yours and it is in you. AFTER you have realized it, after it is achieved, others will take notice. Others will compliment, desire, be inspired, and recognize the change. But at that stage it is done. The sweat, the tears, the determination, the hope, the planning, the work...is all in the 'before'. The 'before' is the truly beautiful part.  

We are constantly in a 'before' stage. We have a number of personal projects on the go at varying junctures throughout our lives. We live and work to reach the 'after'.  We desire recognition for completing a project. 

Completion. After. 

After the hard work. After the self doubting and the the setbacks. 

What if we acknowledged the effort along the route to the 'after'? What if we celebrated getting into the starting blocks? What if we realized the strength and bravery it takes to start? 

I will tell you: We will be stronger. We will be proud in our smallest accomplishments. We will recognize other people in their 'before' and we will celebrate and cheer! We will see no need to recognize only the 'after', but we will love the beauty of the now...before.  

Stay happy & healthy

Sar

www.jomoma.ca

Stress

I have been sick for six weeks...at least. It is always an 'adventure' at the beginning of the school year, when the little carrier monkeys come home from school with new 'germies'.  We make bets on who falls first with an illness. I have found if I can get out of September without a sniffle, nothing can take me down during the winter months that follow. Well....I have been sick for most of the winter.  I let my guard down in September and now I am a petrie dish for viruses.  I have had a cold, a sore throat, cough, sore hair (seriously what is that!?), upset stomache, headache, and now: a sinus infection. A first for me.  I don't know why I felt a certain pride for being able to announce never having had a sinus infection, but that bragging right is now down the toilet. 

Here is the scoop: it is stress. I recognize that my immune system is weakened by my inability to handle stress properly. I have had a boat load of it in the past few years and now with the luxury of a different occupation I have relaxed just enough to get sick. 

Stress comes in all forms.  The obvious ones such as dealing with death and terminal illness, losing your job, and getting divorced are so recognizable by most people, that they usually get dealt with.  But there are a multitude of stresses and they all wreak havoc on your body and mind. 

Negative self-talk, perfectionism, inflexible thinking, worry, busy schedules, spouses, children, planning events, family, job, activities, chores... All are considered stress. Even the good stuff such as a marriage, a promotion, or the birth of a healthy child is stress. 

What can stress do? Stress can motivate. But eventually your body needs a break from managing it, and then stress can be destructive. Stress can cause us to: be anxious, nervous, pessimistic, agitated, moody, forgetful, nauseous, constipated, loose bowels, dizzy, chest pain, irregular heart beat.  Additionally, you may sleep too much/too little, lose your sex drive, abuse drugs and/or alcohol, gain weight, and be susceptible to illnesses such as colds/flus.  

How do we manage stress successfully? Since stress is a very personal thing (what causes me stress is merely an eyebrow raise for my husband), how we manage it, is also a personal approach.  If we can get rid of it (walk away, solve the problem causing the stress) then that is the best tactic. However, if the stress can not be removed or altered, the following will assist: exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, sleep, and relax (differs from sleep wherein sleep is a time your body repairs itself and relaxation is where you can change your body's reaction to stress when you are awake: yoga, meditation, deep breathing..). 

Soooo, I am my worst enemy. I have four children, a husband, two dogs, a gigantic mortgage, and a new career (which doesn't yet pay the bills)... None of which I plan to alter or remove (other than the mortgage...and maybe one of the dogs..), so I need to make some changes or resign myself to the fact I will look like Rudolph for the rest of my life. 

Stay happy and healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Heart Rate

Ahhh the heart.  

Blamed for poor decisions as often as alcohol. 

We speak from the heart. We wear it on our sleeve. And if that's not enough, the heart is that impressive muscle that pushes oxygen/fuel to our entire body. We owe it to our heart to know just how capable it is. 

Being happy and healthy is my tag line. I mean it. I truly want and wish happiness and healthiness to all. Imagine how spectacular our world would be if we were our best! Soooo, knowing what your heart can do for you is a step in that direction. 

Exercise is key for heart health. Knowing how to train with/for your heart is paramount:

First, know what your maximum heart rate is. This is not a number you choose randomly because it is your favourite number...it is an actual calculation. For you lovers of math, this is for you! 

Start with the number 220.  Why? Because the powers that be say so. 

Next determine whether you fall in the below 30 age bracket or above 30 (again, this is not a number you get to randomly select. If need be refer to your birth certificate). 

Age 30 (and below): 220 - age = Maximum Heart Rate (MHR)

Age 30 (and above): 190 - {(age - 30)/2 }= Maximumum Heart Rate 

  example: 190 - (39-30)/2 = 185.5 

Knowing your maximum heart rate will assist you when working out as different fitness objectives require training at a different heart rate. 

Burn baby burn (fat).  Working out at 50-60% of your MHR will result in burning fat reserves. 

Aerobic training. 60-70% of your MHR. This is your cardiovascular training. It strengthens your heart muscles.  This increases your body's effectiveness at transporting oxygen to your muscles and removing the carbon dioxide from your muscles. 

Anaerobic training. 80-90% MHR. This is when your body is working extremely hard burning fuel and oxygen. This causes the production of waste, or otherwise called lactic acid. This training is required to increase endurance. 

Stay happy (in your heart) and healthy (in your mind and body), 

Sar 

www.jomoma.ca