Ok, with that censor warning out of the way, let's talk about all the fun stuff your body (one with a vagina) may do when exercising. Oddly none of this was covered in phys-ed or health class. Somebody somewhere has dropped the ball. I have the ball firmly in my sweaty clutches and will share what ought to be common knowledge....
Jumping is likely to cause you to pee your pants. Yes, ones bladder and nether regions do get abused during pregnancy, but even before that, women (yes, even young women) can experience a pee leak. What to do...what to do? Wear dark sweat pants. NEVER wear grey.
Speaking of leakage... Somebody ought to punch tampon and pad commercial makers in the throat. Of course we can do whatever we want whenever we want regardless of the monthly flow....but this wearing white yoga pants is pure bullschmidt. If you have ever put serious effort into a crunch you would know that there is no femine product out there you trust. What to do? See above. Love me my black sweats!
So you are crunching...planking...and now go to lift your legs above your head (yes, some people do this) and your vagina takes a big gulp of air. OMG. Hey, this happens to the best of us... (and even the worst of us, so take comfort knowing that those you detest have experienced this). You know in your heart of hearts that air will have to come out. But when? And how loud will this 'exhale' actually be? Best advice...workout in the comfort of your own home...or a gym where the music is REALLY loud.
Usually we know when we are going to pass gas...fart. As a lady, we excuse ourselves, go to the washroom, hold it in, or pass a silent but deadly and walk away blaming it on some random dude, or if we are lucky, one of our offspring ...right? But there are times when we have zero clue that a fart is on its way. This happens when we are exerting a large amount of energy/force. Spiking a volleyball...throwing a medicine ball...lifting a heavy weight...or sneezing. What to do? Die a little inside.
Sweat. Ok, yes we all knew that sweating happens when you exercise. Long gone are the days that women 'glisten'. The shocker is where we may sweat. Foreheads and under arms are an acceptable given. But how about your butt and vagina. You may have a handle on your bladder, but a serious workout in a light pair of shorts (do people actually wear 'shorts' anymore...?) and you will wonder if in fact you didn't just pee your pants (or shorts as it were). Facing a mirror, feet shoulder width apart, you sink to the ground to complete floor exercises, and then you see it...the sweaty crotch. Yours. Awesome. You ask yourself 'who else has seen it?'...the answer..EVERYONE.
The beauty of all of the above is that you are not alone. The unmentioned exercise truths have been outed. We are a sisterhood of leakiness and extra air. We can look each other in the eye and appreciate the popular black yoga pant that make up our workout attire.
And with that, I will sign off with one piece of advice... Do not mix heavy weights, on a full bladder and a cold....just sayn.
Stay Happy & Healthy
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