Wrinkles? You need a moisturizer with age resistance serum.
Want a runway model's body? Click on the following link that will detail the diet that is loaded with zero calories and have you ready for that little black dress.
Cellulite! Act now! Book an appointment with skilled freeze agents that are cryogenic masters...limited spots still available.
Let us not forget about the urgency to stop wearing track and yoga pants...since that will ruin your marriage or lure men to lust after you.
Look, I totally get sucked into believing some advertisements as much as the next gal, but it is time to share what I know to be TRUE:
1) When you spend more time laughing than not, you get 'laugh lines'. Having had opportunities to smile, should be enough reason to wear them proudly on your face. Stop calling them crows feet....
2) Models clothing is made for them. It is sewn to fit their body specifically for that one fashion show in a single moment of time. One size fits ONE. Besides...do you actually see what they are wearing? (I wouldn't want to be dressed like a deck of cards or a metallic crayon anyway.)
3) You really don't know how good you look naked. Seriously. I would hazard a guess most of us look down our noses (literally) at our bodies. OR we look at ourselves in the mirror, which is very one dimensional and usually cuts off a body part or two. Don't believe me? What happens when you get naked in front of your special someone? Do they run for the hills? Shield their eyes? I am going to guess...NO.
4) Cellulite? Yep. Most of us have it. Ever been kicked out of bed for it? See 3.
5) Track pants ruin marriages!? Baaahaaaa. Umm, you know how fast track pants can come on and off? See 3.
6) Yoga pants make men silly in the pants? Ummm, ok... so pants that double as pjs and passable errand attire are hot? Fantastic! I could use something to distract from my hair, which I likely haven't brushed....in a week.
Basically it comes down to ignoring the manufactured nonsense, the filtered pictures, and the bazillion dollar industry that is focussed on making you feel less perfect....and embracing the sexy goddess that you are in stretchy pants.
Stay happy & healthy
www.jomoma.ca
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