I am sensitive...

I am sensitive. 

Always have been. I have always put too much value in what others thought about me. What others have said about me. What others have said to me. So much so, that I have spent a disproportionate amount of my time acting like I don't care. Yelling from the mountaintops that I am strong, I cannot be hurt! Professing that all that matters to me is what I think of myself. Well, that's total bullshit. I am still the nine year old who's heart breaks when I feel I am un-liked. Believe it or not, I loathe drama. I love love.  I can talk a big talk and get as nasty as the best of them, but it is an act. I can act like any character. That 'talent' was useful in building a wall against the reality of growing up. It was useful in a past career where the need to 'relate' to anyone meant life or death. However, it doesn't mean I don't feel. 

I am sensitive. 

I just got un friended on Facebook. As far as being "un friended" goes, it was a brutally honest 'unfriend'. I received a message that informed me that they were unfriending me. It wasn't a silent push of a button where you notice months later that they are a "people you may know", and you think "hunh,? I thought we WERE friends...?".  This was an honest notification. So, I sent a text, apologizing for anything I may have posted that offended and I was advised that it wasn't me....The unfriending was due to all the body obsessing and how it was in opposition to how they thought. This I can totally appreciate. EXCEPT that, that is NOT what I post.  At least, not what I thought I was posting.  I share links where beauty is being redefined. I follow pages and bloggers that support health and fitness, NOT sensationalized ridiculous body images. I agree with my now 'unfriend' that we train our bodies with a goal to be fit and strong. And yet somehow, I have been misinterpreted. 

I am sensitive. 

So now I question what the hell I am doing. I launched Jo:Moma to share tips and tricks. To redefine beauty. To change how we view exercise and food. My personal page has similar links plus family videos, zany pics, and updates of my less than perfect life. I am still the 9 year old looking to be accepted. 

I am sensitive. 

You, ... all of you, are awesome. Truly. You decide how happy you want to be.  Nobody else should have that much influence in YOUR life. So until I am the person who can confidently walk around without letting the world dictate how I feel, I will endeavour to help you be that confident, strong person. AND if that means you need to unfriend me... Do it. 

I am sensitive. 

Stay happy & healthy (I mean it)

www.jomoma.ca

AMRAP and other stuff that makes you say WTF?

 Ok, so whether you are new to the fitness world or you have kept your head low for a while, you will notice an abundance of acronyms, buzz words, diets, and trends that seem foreign. Look no further for an explanation. Consider this your fitness dictionary:

AMRAP: As Many Repetitions As Possible (feel free to groan out loud when you see this miserable direction)

WOD: Workout Of the Day. This acronym got its wings with the Crossfitters, and has since been adopted and utilized by most every gym in the free world. 

CrossFit: founded in 2000ish, it is a fitness regime and philosophy. Strength conditioning, Paleo diet and competition are all part and parcel. 

Box: a place where CrossFitters and other fitness enthusiasts work out (in the olden days these were affectionately referred to as 'gyms')

Studio: a swanky term for a small gym. 

PR/PB: Personal Record/Personal Best.  

BPM: Beats Per Minute (heart rate, not music)

BMR: Basal Metabolic Rate (the lowest amount of calories needed to sustain life)

BMI: Body Mass Index aka: Bullshit. 

Fartlek: (real word) run training where pace varies from fast to slow 

Lactic Acid: that terrible feeling in your muscles after what is deemed a "good" workout

HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training (feels like hell, but it is over quicker than the traditional workout)

DOMS: Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness.  Occurs 12-48 hours post workout. Affects how you sit on a toilet and how you brush your teeth. 

1-RM: One Rep Max. The amount of weight/resistance that can be lifted/moved one time, but not twice. A sure fire way to test what will injure you. 

RPE: Rate of Perceived Exertion. A scale of 1-10 that rates how you are feeling physically/mentally. 100% of those relaying this # to their trainer are fibbing. 

THR: Target Heart Rate. Recommended range is 60-85% of MHR: Maximum Heart Rate. It is recommended that you always have a heart rate. 

Paleo diet: popular due to the CrossFit regimen. Mimics Hunter/gatherer ancestors. Lean protein (meat/seafood), fruits and vegetables. Off limits: dairy, grains, legumes and starchy vegetables. There is nothing funny about this diet. 

Juice Cleanse diet: toted as detoxing.  Drinking only fruit and vegetable juices (sorry, you cannot juice a chicken on this diet). From this writer's perspective... It is a fad. It doesn't give you the protein and fibre your body requires. Awesome if you need to drink juice... 

Mediterranean diet: high consumption of breads and UNREFINED cereals (wheat), fruit, nuts, vegetables, fish, and cheese. Moderate amounts of wine...HEY, WAIT...SIGN ME UP.

Intermittent Fasting: newest on the scene in the diet world. A typical week would be: eat normally Monday and Tuesday, fast on Wednesday (women consume 500 calories max), regular eating Thursday, Friday fast (>500 cals), regular eating Saturday and Sunday. Here is the scoop: any time between meals is called fasting. Realistically, this diet just lowers the caloric intake for the week...if there isn't a binge that follows the fast. 

GMO: Genetically Modified Organism: altered genetics.  Aka: poison/toxin. It is not a laughing matter. 

Gluten:  it is a glue, a protein composite found in wheat and related grains (makes breads chewy). A small amount of people actually have a sensitivity to it. And an even smaller group have a serious disease (celiac).  Weight related issues can be linked to the consumption of grains. It is not specifically the gluten, but rather that the grains we consume are GMO (toxins get in the way of a properly functioning metabolism). 

WTF: an expression by a fitness enthusiast in response to an unrealistic WOD. 

And with that, TTYL.  

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Not half bad, thanks Grandma.

Small print: Reminder, this blog is free to read, so if at anytime you want your money back....

So, you know those moments when you think to yourself: 'hey, I don't look half bad!'? OR, when you have made the necessary changes in your life to reverse the clock and reclaim your youthful self, but then something terrible happens...like I am talking earth shattering....

You catch your reflection in your iPad!  

Yep...you...looking down... not smiling...just...'reflecting'.  It is enough to have you google a crisis help-line but you cannot bring yourself to look down at the glowing screen anymore. Double chin (if your lucky), furrowed brow, and jowels like Winston Churchill. AND if that wasn't enough, at bedtime, when you go to brush your teeth and examine that face staring back at you, you have an Eureka moment (emphasis on the eurEEEKahhhh)... The pillow sheet marks from the morning are still visible...they aren't marks sweetheart, oxford dictionary calls em wrinkles (who likes Oxford anyway!?)

These are the moments that change behaviour. 

As you are feverishly brushing your teeth, cuz there is no freaking way coffee and wine is going to be culled from your life, you plan AND vow to do everything your Grandmother once spoke of.  You now recognize what you once believed was dimensia as true pearls of wisdom!  (I shall quote my Grandma...it has been suggested she may have lacked some 'grandmotherly' tendencies). 

"Stand like you are bought and paid for!" (yes, we can all agree we are NOT property, but the message is gold). By standing straight, the work gravity has done on your 'girls' looks less influential.  Your tummy flattens out (slightly), and your jaw is less buried in your cheeks,..hello jawline! And FYI, confidence is sexy (nobody needs to know it is feigned). 

"Blue, ... I should paint the ceiling blue" (apparently a thought my Granmother had whilst on her back with my Grandfather).. Gross, sure, but let's face it, having children is hereditary:  if my Grandma hadn't had kids (which involves the fore mentioned) then chances are my Mom wouldn't have... Anywho, I digress from the point... 

Clearly the position (on back) not only gives you decorating insight, it erases that double chin! Now, when you are on your iPad (please! You didn't think I was referring to Grandma sex!?) your reflection will be much more Vogue and less Winston. 

"Never let them see you cry".  How is this a helpful 'beauty' tip!? Wellllllll....  If you have ever seen me cry, it involves excess snot, swelling of my eyelids, and red blotchy patches from my neck up. Sure there are glamorous criers (my sis-in-law and Hollywood actresses) but they are few and far between, and I am blocking them from having any further 'tips'. If the pillow sheet marks were enough to send you into a tizzy, then looking like a boxer post bout will not tickle your fancy. 

Invest in big necked t-shirts (dark in colour). You can hide your weepy face and blow your nose in the shirt without being detected (light colour shirts will show snot...test cases have proven this). ADDITIONALLY, do not go to a mirrored environment until you can take a deep breath without it catching and you can talk like you do not have severe sinus congestion. By that point, the swelling will now only plump out the crows feet, the eyes will have the slightest of sparkle and there will be colour in your cheeks. If they didn't see you cry, then they only believe you to be bright eyed! 

Voila, changed. And now I am pleased to return to my feeling of not half bad. 

Signed, Nikela's granddaughter. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca