The Truth about keeping the relationship HOT

I have noticed quite a few of these types of articles lately. Some attack the matter from a married housewife perspective, some from the pews of a church, and others from the grocery store melon section (I know right!?). 

And finally, by popular demand (I may have made that part up), Jo:Moma's version:

Kids. They are fun to make, and killjoys for trying to continue any sexy time after they arrive. If they don't need to be fed, changed, entertained, watched, or bailed...they are lurking somewhere. Eventually, you and your sexy time partner just have to relinquish the idea that the kids will come out of this unscathed. They will hear it, or walk in on it... Just ask around for therapists your friends are using for their kids. 

Beds are for sissies. Being married with kids means that my bed is not a playground for love making.  It is however, a playground. If there isn't a child in it, there is evidence of a child. A stuffed animal. A beloved blankie. A lego. Set up a love shack in the laundry room, gawd only knows kids don't have the foggiest clue where that is (in our case it is the room where we store dirty clothing for weeks on end...sexy? No. But I digress, I'm merely problem solving..)

Say thank you. Say sorry. Say hi. Say goodnight. We tend to treat strangers better than the person we have chosen to get our rocks off with. Being polite is truly a way to lay kindling for a hot fire later. 

Learn your partners love language. There are five: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch (The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman). HOLD THE PRESSES! There is a 6th. WINE. Enough said.  

Massages. Now, I am going to stereotype here. If you find that you CAN'T relate...well, yay you. 

Men: when you have been asked to provide a massage, this is an invitation to 'massage'. NOT body surf. This is not sex. 

Women: mix it up. Give a massage with the intent to hit a home run. Nothing is sexier than surprise. Discounting a lego in the arch of your foot in the middle of the night...or afternoon, or anytime really. 

Listen. Listen to each other talk about schmidt you could care less about. Listen to the details of an operating 2 stroke (I'm fairly certain that is an engine..) and listen to the ingredients required for a new recipe, or the new workout regime, or the vacation plans (you will be tested). But mostly, everybody likes to be heard and if you can muster it, ask a question that shows you were listening. It will pay off later....

Trust. Trust yourself. Trust you made the right decision. Trust you are the best thing to happen to your partner. Trust that wrinkles, cellulite, coffee breath, a crying child, a missed payment, and any loss is OKAY so long as you are committed to tackle it together. Trust you are a team. 

Finally, laugh. Sexy time isn't really like the movies. Hair isn't perfect (shaved, brushed or what have you), body parts cramp, time isn't boundless... Bodies can/will make noises you hadn't planned on...but being comfortable enough to laugh at it all, is sexier and hotter than any movie scene (well, most anyway). 

Stay happy & healthy & hot

www.jomoma.ca