Team player

I have been lucky. I have had the opportunity to play on MANY teams. Some as a kid, others as a teen, and then as a young adult. Soccer, ringette, hockey, basketball, volleyball, handball, badminton (well, that was doubles and all I really did was take up space..)..and through it all I have learned some valuable lessons. 

You win as a team, you lose as a team. A victory shared is twice the accomplishment and a loss shared is half the set back. 

Being the all-star is a great time to recognize those that aided in your success. Spread the wealth. Be gracious. Raise up your teammates.  Thank your coach. Be classy.  Always. 

Being on the bench sucks. Never be happy to sit.  Be hungry to improve. But don't let that sour you.  Be supportive of those on the court. Everyone has a role. Do yours as best as you can, and then... DO IT BETTER. 

Don't practice so that you can get it right.  Practice so that you can't get it wrong. 

Wear black bottoms (be it shorts, sweats, tights)...you will eventually pee your pants. Big effort = greater likelihood of leakage (learned this lesson in bright red shorts...). 

When your coach says hit it as HARD as you can, you may fart. Or in my case, you will...(DID). Other than wishing the earth would open up and swallow me whole, I understood how hard, 'hard' was. 

Mostly it is in your head. Being mentally tough will make the physical mountains smaller. Whether you think you can or you think you can't ... You are right. 

Play every game like it may be your last. Because one day it is, and we often didn't realize it would be.

 Stay happy & healthy

Being a Mom

Once upon a time, I thought being a mom would be a piece of cake. That belief was BEFORE I was a parent. I was one of those people who had preconceived notions of how it was to be done. I was judgey of those in the throes that appeared to be struggling. I would of course be perfect because my little love nuggets would be perfect. 

Karma is a bitch. 

Enter children. Sigh, parenthood. Fun to make, & considerably less fun to raise. 

We spend the first two years encouraging our children to walk and talk and then for all the years to follow: to sit down and shut up. 

It is a thankless job this parenting gig.

Nobody wants what is for dinner, unless it is the small leftovers that are on your plate and your plate alone. Then the food they hated last night looks delicious and they beg and scavenge like vultures because they loathe what is in front of them tonight.  

Never. Ending. Laundry. Balls of socks, inside-out jeans, shirts INSIDE sweatshirts, belts in pants...and then when it is finally washed they have outgrown it. I may be a poor laundress but these kids grow overnight. I swear. 

Speaking of swearing, child #1 was corrected and punished for using words such as dummy and stupid. By child #4, my main concern is that she is using the words correctly (which she does, I am an excellent role model) and not in front of teachers...I keep excellent mom-friends who wouldn't notice. 

Dishes. Piled ON TOP of the empty dishwasher. STACKED in the sink.  

The inability to return things to their rightful spot, but the ability to remove it from the said spot. 

Eg: kitchen scissors are always in the kitchen when they need them. When I need them, they may be in the bathroom, under a couch cushion, on a dresser, or in the sand box. At least I know where to look. 

Domestic blindness. Not being able to find what they need. Of course never making a serious effort to locate the item, but search is unnecessary when all they need to do is whine, give-up, throw a fit and basically dare me to find it. 

Since we are on the topic of a misplaced item: Footwear in the morning. Shoes have a spot when they are not on one's feet. At least in a perfect world. But every morning, after I have given a 10 minute warning for departure time, a shoe is missing. The victim of the missing shoe is so beside themself that they have not packed their backpack, grabbed their lunch, nor put on their coat within the allotted timeframe. Why would they do anything else when a shoe is missing!? More often than not the sad little shoe is hiding under the coat that is not on the shoeless party. This is only after I have given myself a headache from yelling. (Don't judge me). 

Bedtime. It shouldn't come as a surprise, afterall they have had a bedtime EVERY night since they were born, yet every night I must remind, coax, threaten, and beg. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but I have a limit. I have mentally prepared myself for 'x' number of wakeful child hours. If a child falls outside of those hours, outsiders will question my love for these children. 

But then they sleep. The grubby, perpetually hungry, needy, thankless, little beasts catch z's and they are perfect. My little love nuggets are perfect. I must be doing something right. 

Stay happy & healthy 

Jo:Moma 

I will never be.

I will never be a super model. 

I will never work for NASA. 

I will never go to Princeton on a scholarship, be a trust fund kid, or be 17 again. 

The list of 'I will never' could be depressing. 

But it is actually, awesome. 

I will never let someone take up space in my head rent free. 

I will never take for granted how fortunate I am to be a Mom. 

I will never forget my friends past or present. 

I will never stop loving the joy of decorating a Xmas tree. 

I will never dislike sport and the lessons I learned. 

I will never stop loving stick shifts, drive-in movies, pizza delivery, and letters. 

I will never judge a friend regarding their love life, religion, or parenting approach...okay, maybe a little...but I will never let it get in the way of being a shoulder to lean on, a wall to bounce stuff off of, or a bag to punch. 

I will never stop being thankful that I get to choose who I love, how I live, and what I am. 

I will never be a super model, but I will never be sorry about that. 

Stay happy and healthy,

Jo:Moma 

I see you

Hey kid I see you. 

I see you sitting on the bench the entire game. 

I see you cheering for your teammates on the court. 

I see you volunteering to do the lines. 

I see you. 

I see you stand up at the time out and watch my face and listen to my words. 

I see you look at the line up that doesn't have your name on it.  

I see you lead the team in the cheer. 

I see you. 

I see you show up to practice on time. 

I see you giving 100%.  

I see you trying. 

I see you. 

You may not have been on the floor when your teammates won. You may not have any stats by your name at the end of the game. You may not need to wash your jersey at the end of the match. But YOU are why we win. 

You recognize that fair doesn't mean same playing time. You get what TEAM is. You, are awesome. 

In a world where most are awarded for just signing up, you do more than that. You celebrate the wins and allow your heart to break on the losses. You see yourself as a part of the whole. And guess what... You are. 

I see you. 

Thank you for being someone to watch. 

You have already won. 

Love, 

Your coach

Jo:Moma 

It's federal Election Day. For months now I have been privy to political posts of my friends and lawn signs of my neighbours. I found it eye opening to learn who has opposing views to mine and often I was irritated. How stupid could these people be? Do they not read small print? Are they sheep? Are they interested in me unfriending them? ....

But truth be told: HOW EFFN AWESOME is it that we live in a country where we can voice a differing opinion? How incredibly lucky am I to have friends who are interested in how we are governed? 

Regardless of the voting outcome there has been discussion. There has been passion. There has been thought (maybe ;) ). 

So what the heck does this have to do with health and fitness? Everything. YOU get to choose. YOU get to decide how you fuel your body.  You get to decide where, when, how you make it sweat. You get to wear whatever blows your skirt up (if you choose to wear a skirt), because YOU are privileged enough to live where 'exercise' and 'diet' can be something you worry about. 

Take advantage. 

Be your own health and fitness coach. 

Nobody's vote on your body is counted. 

Happy Election Day my lovelies. 

Stay happy & healthy

Jo:Moma

Jumping off the deep end is not an exercise....I wish it was.

I have an extremely sensitive kid. I'm talking, he travels with his own springboard to jump into the deep end on a moments notice. 

His sensitivity sometimes mimics the behaviour of an asshole. The moment he is concerned for someone's wellbeing and it appears (to him) they are in jeopardy...he goes ape sh!t. 

A) Too close to the road? His safety patrol warning siren goes off as he is certain you are headed for a funeral.  So naturally he wants to break all ties with you: "Get killed! You are an idiot! I never loved you!".

B) Or perhaps he overhears someone (me), express disappointment in the house being a war zone, and a strong desire to live in a clean environment: "I wish I was never born to you! You are not my mother!". Ummm..ya lil dude, I am...pick up your clothes. 

C) Or how about: 'hey buddy, you may not go out with your friends.....(insert meltdown of Mr. Sensitive before sentence can be finished) "ya!? Well I hate my friends..I never want to leave my room.." ..(sentence continuation) '....until you put some pants on'. 

It is exhausting. It is irritating. It is effing unbelievable at times. AND, it is the most beautiful attribute the lil dude has. He has a heart so big, that it feels EVERYTHING. I know how painful that is, because although the lil man is a dead ringer for his Daddy, his heart is from me. 

Walking around feeling everything is tough to do. You take everything personally. You hurt when others hurt. You over think. You create heartache where there wasn't any. You need love and hope: EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. You have a sincere desire for everyone to be happy, kind, safe, healthy... And the world just doesn't cooperate consistently enough. So, naturally, you lash out, or perhaps build a wall, or become an incredible actor. You feign confidence. You smile when you are hurting. You laugh the loudest. You act like an asshole (child #3). 

What does this have to do with health and fitness? Well, we are wired differently. How we attack problems will differ. What we see as roadblocks or mountains to overcome...differ. We can identify people that are similar to us...often gravitating to them... But it is important to recognize that we ARE different. Obstacles are not the same for all of us. How we attack/solve problems will differ. So what works for us in the realm of health and fitness will also differ. Learn who you are. Identify what you need. Feed the creature that is you. 

If yoga works for your best girlfriend but makes you yearn to hit a heavy bag... Awesome, you know what you need. All too often we hear/read/learn of an 'effective' fitness routine for someone and when we try it, we fail. It's not you... The fit is not correct. Try something else. Find what makes you: You. Keep going. Find your springboard and jump! 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca 

A few simple steps to become slim, gorgeous AND perfect

Hook, line and sinker. 

 

How many times do we click on a post that promises us 'six steps to skinny'... 'All you need to know to lose weight' ... 'Rid cellulite with this simple trick' ?  

If you are anything like me, you do it daily. 

I know it is click bait. I know it is total bullshit...but I read it anyway. 

Why? 

Why are intelligent women getting sucked into a vortex of lies? 

Simple really. We have been conditioned to believe we need repairing. 

Hey! WE ARE PERFECT THE WAY WE ARE. 

Yes, some women go grey in their 20's while others have their natural hair colour into their 60's (my mother-in-law has less grey than a couple of her children).  Some women have sunspots while others have perfectly placed laugh lines. Some women have zero body hair. Some have cellulite starting at their knees. Some have perky boobs.  Some have legs for days. And the real news: not one woman has everything she wants or deems desirable. So we focus on what we don't like...or rather what media has told us is offensive. 

While we are busy clicking on posts, buying products to 'fix' our 'imperfections', someone, somewhere is wishing they were as imperfect as us. It's true. I am betting that many of us receive a compliment but quickly dismiss it with "...ugh, if I could only do something about my _____". STOP. 

Stop with the negative self talk. Stop with the obsession of what is not ideal for you. START displaying and highlighting what you adore about yourself. Gloss up those gorgeous lips that showcase that smile that lights up a room. Hike up those cuffs to show off those sexy calves and ankles.  Keep your hair long if that's the style that makes you feel beautiful and sexy. We allow ourselves to be pressured into fashions & styles that the advertising world is marketing. You are in control. 

You control your happiness. Stop giving that power to strangers. 

YOU ARE A PERFECT YOU. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca 

Get real...seek...take action...

I began Jo:Moma with the intent to make health and fitness more convenient for busy Moms. In the past year and a half, services and products may have changed (evolved), however my mission remains the same: 

Sharing tips & tricks, that make reaching and maintaining health and fitness goals, both convenient and comfortable for the busy woman. 

Being healthy and fit IS DOABLE on a time sensitive schedule when you are being pulled in numerous directions.  It takes a bit of mental reprogramming (putting yourself first), and perhaps changing your schedule....BUT it can be done. Whether you are doing a complete lifestyle overhaul, or removing a routine glass of wine (I know, wtf?!)....you can do it. You can do it without breaking the bank. You can do it without petitioning for more hours in a day. You can do it without running away from home. I know all this, because what I share has been tried and tested...by yours truly (if I try to run away, they find me...). 

The first step is getting real with yourself. Ask yourself the tough questions. What is it you hope to accomplish? If your goal is truly one you desire, you will make the changes required. If you have found yourself joining gyms you don't attend, and purchasing supplements you keep on a back shelf in a cupboard, you are not sincerely interested in either. Nail down your goal. 

Next, seek ways to reach it. There are more than 100 ways to skin a cat (relax PETA it's just a saying). Do your own research. When you invest time, you will increase your level of commitment. Make a list of possible routes to reach your goal. 

For example, if your goal is to change the reflection in the mirror, this can be tackled several ways:

a) Diet (change how/what you eat)

b) Lift weights (muscle takes up less space than fat)

c) Cardio (blast calories)

d) Increase water consumption

e) Stabilize your hormones

f) Smash the mirror with a brick (a fave of mine, truly satisfying, until you have to clean it up), etc....

Finally, take action. Choose a route you think you will enjoy in order to reach your goal. If you don't like it, you won't last long on that path. If you find you fall out of like with a plan, try another. There is no shame in changing it up. Variety is the spice of life. Sometimes change is what you need to refuel a passion and to keep your goal in view. 

Lastly (I know I already said finally...), check in with Jo:Moma. I want everyone to succeed. Let's create a community where our goals are met with ideas & support. 

Stay happy & healthy 

www.jomoma.ca 

Words

We say them, write them, read them, think them. They can be benign or powerful. And at this stage of our technologically rich lives, they are controlling and dangerous. 

Ever written what you thought was a simple harmless text, only for it to be misinterpreted and now the bane of your existence? Ya....me too. We all have. Words have power. How we say something is equally as important as what we say. Tone and body language play a large part in the message that is intended to be delivered. And now, most of our communication is done over cyberspace. Too many exclamation points may irritate the reader. A short form (ttyl..lol..np..wtf..) can seem flippant versus device appropriate. All caps could mean excitement, anger, or a stuck caps lock. Let's not forget autocorrect...dear gawd, how many lives has that ruined?! 

The point being, we spend more time texting/emailing/tweeting/updating in a written form and the intended message is frequently lost in translation. We spend far too much time with our perceived message intent than we do with the message. We read between the lines, we create stories that didn't exist, and we stop truly communicating. 

Remember the game telephone? A large group of people, with one person starting off a chain of people to repeat the 'original' sentence whispered in the ear of one person to the next. How often was that butchered by the end? Sometimes it was derailed on purpose by a member, and sometimes by the simple fact that it was misheard. In our cyber worlds, this still happens. But now the message gets to be introduced by someone first "hey, checkout the following bullschmidt post...." Or "hey, I love this! Have a read...".  

It is time to take back the control of words on our lives.  Seek clarity. Ask intent. Make up your own mind (don't rely on the 'introduction')... But most importantly, step away from the screen and fully communicate. Look up and into the eyes of the person relaying a message. Listen to the voice that is sharing. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

I went into a 'Love Shop'....alone.

I am fairly certain that the 'Love Shop' would be the same as the Stag shop....mind you I am only assuming since I have never been in either...until today. 

My brother in-law and sister in-law are tying the knot next month. They have been together forever, that I think we all sort of thought they were already married. Anywhoooooo, with impending nuptials just around the corner, the bachelor and bachelorette parties are tomorrow. I decided that my sis in-law should have one, and since her maid of honour lives in a different country and her remaining bridesmaids are her own daughters...I offered to organize. 

First off, I have hardly ever been a bachelorette (was engaged at age 20 to the 3rd boyfriend I had had, and then when that didn't work out <surprise surprise>, I got married again..) so my reference is based on stories and urban legends. Who better to plan/host a bachelorette party than me right!? 

The bride-to-be is not new to being a woman.  She is a mom of 4 girls, a big wig marketing exec, and has class (the good kind).  So where better to shop for party thingies, than a store that has tons of 'thingies'. 

I'm not sure what I expected from the Love Shop. I think if I had been polled about it, I would have said I would go there with my main squeeze (a sexy date or what have you)...But instead, wearing my sexiest attire (Run DMC teeshirt and million year old jeans) and a need to get loot for the party, I limped my way to the car and made the trip into the BIG city (Guelph...it has a Love Shop right on its border presumably for us small town folk).  

The store has a plethora of windows that are plastered with brown paper and newspapers so you are left guessing what is inside. Like a present. BUT NOT A PRESENT. 

I opened the door, fully expecting a doorman asking to see my ID (sign says only those 18 and older are allowed entry), but there was only a really dark store to greet me. I stood for several minutes allowing my eyes to adjust from the brightness which was the outdoors, to the pitch that was now my shopping adventure. For those that do not know me: I don't enjoy shopping. I never have. Looking on shelves, racks, etc for deals/products makes me a crazy person. Soooo, here I am...shopping. 

I knew there would be some penises for sale. This was not a shocking discovery. What blew me away (no pun intended), was HOW MANY penises were for sale (I did not see any for rent, so that's good news). Ranging in sizes as little as ones you would assume were for Barbie and Ken, to others that could double as Gargoyles on some mansion somewhere. And if I wasn't wondering enough about the gargoyles, I was perplexed by the array of colours. Don't get me wrong, I think it is very thoughtful to have a wide selection of flesh tones. But fluorescent green?! I have to say, if a penis is fluorescent (any colour, I'm not just picking on 'green')... It needs medical attention...STAT. 

So after, being a little lost in the role play section (I found a nurses costume so perhaps that's where the green penis gets treated), I finally found the party accessory section. There are so many games I didn't realize were legal...or played with cards. I was able to grab a few things that may be suitably unsuitable for the party goers and made very little eye contact with other shoppers (lesson learned: don't EVER look into the room labeled MOVIES and politely smile...at ANYONE). 

And now I am home. With another life experience that I can cross off the ol' bucket list (it was never on my list, but it is nice to feel like I got something done). My only question: should I wash my purchases before I hand over to guests and place on heads? 'It's Tricky'. (<see what I did there?)

Stay happy & healthy (always wash your hands)

www.jomoma.ca 

The Truth about keeping the relationship HOT

I have noticed quite a few of these types of articles lately. Some attack the matter from a married housewife perspective, some from the pews of a church, and others from the grocery store melon section (I know right!?). 

And finally, by popular demand (I may have made that part up), Jo:Moma's version:

Kids. They are fun to make, and killjoys for trying to continue any sexy time after they arrive. If they don't need to be fed, changed, entertained, watched, or bailed...they are lurking somewhere. Eventually, you and your sexy time partner just have to relinquish the idea that the kids will come out of this unscathed. They will hear it, or walk in on it... Just ask around for therapists your friends are using for their kids. 

Beds are for sissies. Being married with kids means that my bed is not a playground for love making.  It is however, a playground. If there isn't a child in it, there is evidence of a child. A stuffed animal. A beloved blankie. A lego. Set up a love shack in the laundry room, gawd only knows kids don't have the foggiest clue where that is (in our case it is the room where we store dirty clothing for weeks on end...sexy? No. But I digress, I'm merely problem solving..)

Say thank you. Say sorry. Say hi. Say goodnight. We tend to treat strangers better than the person we have chosen to get our rocks off with. Being polite is truly a way to lay kindling for a hot fire later. 

Learn your partners love language. There are five: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch (The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman). HOLD THE PRESSES! There is a 6th. WINE. Enough said.  

Massages. Now, I am going to stereotype here. If you find that you CAN'T relate...well, yay you. 

Men: when you have been asked to provide a massage, this is an invitation to 'massage'. NOT body surf. This is not sex. 

Women: mix it up. Give a massage with the intent to hit a home run. Nothing is sexier than surprise. Discounting a lego in the arch of your foot in the middle of the night...or afternoon, or anytime really. 

Listen. Listen to each other talk about schmidt you could care less about. Listen to the details of an operating 2 stroke (I'm fairly certain that is an engine..) and listen to the ingredients required for a new recipe, or the new workout regime, or the vacation plans (you will be tested). But mostly, everybody likes to be heard and if you can muster it, ask a question that shows you were listening. It will pay off later....

Trust. Trust yourself. Trust you made the right decision. Trust you are the best thing to happen to your partner. Trust that wrinkles, cellulite, coffee breath, a crying child, a missed payment, and any loss is OKAY so long as you are committed to tackle it together. Trust you are a team. 

Finally, laugh. Sexy time isn't really like the movies. Hair isn't perfect (shaved, brushed or what have you), body parts cramp, time isn't boundless... Bodies can/will make noises you hadn't planned on...but being comfortable enough to laugh at it all, is sexier and hotter than any movie scene (well, most anyway). 

Stay happy & healthy & hot

www.jomoma.ca 

My warranty is up.

I have been 40 for 7.5 months now. Don't get me wrong, I like being 40, however I do think my parents didn't invest in the extended warranty when it came to me. I have been falling apart. Well, everything appears to be attached on the outside (the insides are questionable.)

 

My shoulders are effed. I am presently waiting for the results of the latest test. I take responsibility for not seeking medical help earlier....but I blame my parents who were young when they were 'creating' me. They clearly didn't know the difference between elbows and shoulders and gave me the wrong joints. So after 40 years, my sh-elbows are used up. On a plus, I have yet another reason I look like I haven't brushed my hair ('cuz I haven't ...). 

I struggle with 'rest'. I LOVE the idea of doing nothing, until I am doing nothing. It is then that I see all that needs to be done. Sure I should give my shoulders a break...I haven't been throwing around weights or brushing my hair for months now.... But it is spring...and yard work is calling me...no YELLING at me to do it. Sooooo, I have wrestled with weeds and bushes. Raked leaves I missed in the fall....And moved rocks. 

Yes...moved rocks. I'm an idiot. I know my shoulders can't take it, so I compensated and used my back.  As it turns out, I did so: incorrectly. It would appear my parents didn't think I would need an extended warranty on my back either. 

I dropped to my knees for the better part of 7 minutes (I watched the minutes tick by on my new Fitbit ...this is not product placement...just irony at its finest). At 1st I hoped my hubby wouldn't see me (he gets all bent out of shape, when I have bent my shape..)...and then after several minutes I wondered if anybody would find my body. I eventually got up...and took a much needed rest....HAHAHAHAH NOT! Like the true idiot that I am, I continued to shovel and move wheelbarrows. *warning DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. This stunt was performed by a professional idiot.*

It wasn't until I tried to 'jump' out of bed at 2 in the morning to attend to windows that were open in the thunderstorm, that I realized I may have ruined my back. 

I have been grounded. I'm sitting on the couch (not comfortably) with a coffee and my iPad (no phone...it jumped out of my pocket last week, hit the floor and died...not unlike its owner...no warranty). I am forced to do nothing. 

This may be a week of blogs. Consider yourself warned. 

Check your warranties. 

Stay happy & healthy 

www.jomoma.ca 

Perfectionist? I'm a 'expect'tionist.

Ok, already the word police are ready to put me in cuffs for making up a word....Easy....I bite. 

I have been 'criticized' in the past (or maybe even the present) for my 'perfectionist' ways. This blog is meant to set the record straight. I am NO perfectionist. Seriously...there are oodles of things in my life that are less than perfect...in fact, down right messy, sticky, and in need of a dousing of gasoline and a match. What I am, (and I say this with gusto..<I've always wanted to use that word>)..I AM AN EXPECT-tionist. I expect certain things. 

For example, if I see you driving your car like an idiot and you clearly have zero eye lead and lack of co-operation for fellow drivers, I will let your stupid self in the lane you are rudely trying to get in to. I EXPECT, you will give me the 'thank you' wave. 

If you say you want to meet at 2... Meet me at 2. Not 2:15...not 3... TWO! I expect punctuality. (Unless you are drinking...or have children..or are drinking because you have children). 

If I have asked you to do something (child 1 through 4... These are my children for those that are late to the party),: DO. IT. WELL. Do not cut corners. Do not procrastinate. Do not object. JUST DO IT (thank you Nike, I have gotten serious mileage out of that slogan). 

If you profess to be my friend, defend the haters in my absence.  Do not ignore.  I will bury bodies for you, I EXPECT the same. 

If you do ANYTHING, give 100%. Not 60.  Not 90. One effing hundred. What is the point of going through the motions? Give it your all. You won't be disappointed. 

Say thank you. 

Hold doors. 

Smile back. 

Flush the toilet. 

Put garbage in garbage cans. 

.....

Theses are things I expect. 

Signed,

messy haired, dandelion lawned, unfolded laundry chick 

aka Jo:Moma 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca 

Magazines are meant to sell...

If you are reading this blog, it is for one of the following reasons: 

You have an interest in health and fitness. 

You enjoy reading something written by somebody who is unhinged. 

You are my Mom.

For the purpose of this blog, let's talk health and fitness. 

We stand in the grocery check-out line and peruse the magazines. The scantily clad, tight bodies attracting us from several feet away, while we wait for our time to hand over our money for stuff we probably didn't need. 

The magazines have bold statements that we can't help but notice. 

30 Days to a Flatter Belly.

Lose 10 lbs in 1 week. 

Detox with a 5 day cleanse. 

Blah blah blah. 

We may or may not believe the proclamations and we may or may not buy the magazine. Regardless, the damage is done. The image, the 'topics', they now take up space in our heads. We recall the 10% body fat bikini model when we are getting into our jammies (pjs), and we push away from the dinner table second guessing our meal choices. 

The magazines have been successful. They have planted a seed, and usually this seed is a poisonous one or at the very least, it will take your money. 

Magazines are mostly advertising. It is packaged in such a way that we, the consumers, are not overtly aware. The 'supplements' are disguised as kitchen staples, the workout attire as necessary equipment, and the 'diets' as effective (because we are duped by the before and after pic that has been used in previous editions, for a different 'diet'). 

Don't believe me? Pick up the magazine and flip it over to the back cover. Is it an ad? Now open up the magazine....count how many articles are not selling something (a service, a method, a product, a person...), I would suggest that there are less than half a dozen 'free' articles. This is not 'literature'...this is propaganda. 

Take it for what it is: 'entertainment' at best.  There may be some new exercise pics that are of some value to you, or a recipe...but I would suggest you save your money if you are looking for health and fitness tips/tricks/information. We live in a brilliant age where info (Free) is available at our finger tips by a mere click of a button. Be suspicious of 'health/fitness' magazines that are housed between chocolate bars, packages of gum and calling cards. 

As always, stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Overwhelmed

I am at that age where I check and balance. How am I doing? Are my goals big enough that they scare me, or am I struggling to see the forest through the trees? 

I can remember being in grade 4, wondering how life would be different when I was a grown up. Wondering if I would feel any different. 

To my grade 4 self:

Stop being in a hurry to grow up. The bullies you want to escape, the independence you want to gain, the older self you can't wait to meet will always be in your future. The bullies change form, independence can be lonely and costly, and you will always wonder if you have a future self that will differ from your present one (a better more polished version). 

I am finding lately that I am overwhelmed... emotionally overwhelmed. I am able to look at my children and remember being their age. I can recall the dilemmas and the joys that played out in my world at that time. I want to be able to push pause for my kids so that they can soak it all in. Ingest it. Appreciate and learn. But I can't slow down the clock for them anymore than my parents could for me. I remember my folks telling me to enjoy 'it' (whatever it I was experiencing at that time); and only after it had passed did I wish I had taken their advice. I think that is why I am feeling overwhelmed right now.  Although I am at the base of some mountains I need to summit, I can't help but wonder if I am missing something beautiful while I am in a hurry to climb upwards. So I pause. 

I pause and 'feel' everything. No, I am not molesting my environment, I am letting myself experience the hurt, the joy, the comedy, the drama, ... of each moment as it flies by. I cry at the tragedies and the beautiful moments equally...even if they don't belong to me. I feel an overwhelming desire to scoop up the world in my arms and hug it until it is better. Or maybe...until I am better. 

Check: At my age certainly I ought to be more successful. Certainly I should have more accolades and less insecurity. Certainly I should be MORE. 

Balance: The people I get to call friends are outrageously successful. My children are bright, athletic, talented and driven. I am surrounded by MUCH. 

To my 40 year old self: it's ok to feel, just don't stop moving your feet. 

How do you climb a mountain...one step at a time...keeping your head up. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Cropped tees and thongs...

I follow a variety of health and fitness personalities, bloggers, trainers, gurus, .... And I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all the lingerie pics of ladies exercising. Small sports bras (or rather, torn tight cropped tee-shirts), short shorts (cross between a boy short and a thong, aka panties), and sometimes, because let's face it, showing your calves would be pushing it, knee-high socks (hooray for modesty).  

Before I get comments that I am 'shaming' women for their workout attire, let me be clear: If you can get your sweat on in your sexy time clothing in a gym or on a track (or wherever you build that smokin' body), all I have to say is WOW! I am not that brave... I fear that without my track pants, & baggy t-shirt I will be served papers to attend court for indecent exposure. 

I cannot imagine the stress I would be under waiting for the inevitable: my butt to swallow up part of those teeny tiny shorts, or my cropped shirt to lose its focus on covering my breasts and sliding up exposing boobies that have nursed 4 babies (**all babies were my own). I have enough trouble keeping my hair tied back (why the heck did I think bangs would look good) and my runners double knotted, than to worry about if I am hairless enough, tanned enough, and dehydrated enough to rock the workout bikini. 

STOP YELLING AT ME (those of you who are now upset that I am suggesting these beautiful, 3/4 naked, beastmode fitness fashionistas are narcissistic...), I am just highlighting that I frequently have pokey legs (not slow...but prickly, thank you child #3), a fierce fish belly tan (on a positive note, I could flag planes if stranded), and retaining something or an other (usually food...but let's say water). I will happily don a bikini on the beach, around the pool, or taking the dog for a walk (just making sure you are paying attention)...but in those situations I am not lifting, pushing, pulling, stretching... I am hanging onto the said suit with both hands for dear life because I know a kid somewhere is lurking, waiting... (We have all been there, playing in the pool, swimming with a child and then realize some part of your bathing suit has been removed, liberating you for all to see). I expect this....but not when I am bench pressing, or deadlifting (oh the horror!). 

Track pants, t-shirts (size BIG), and ankle socks (I am a bit of a floozy) are what I need to get my workout on. You are welcome. 

Stay happy & healthy 

www.jomoma.ca 

Get honest...

We are lured by the sexiness of the magical supplement, exercise equipment, or 'fix'. These things are guaranteed to work. They will turn you into the hottest, fittest, leanest version of yourself.  But there is always a caveat. You must adhere to a workout routine...or eat a sensible diet. 

I am going to put it out there: if you are doing all that you can (exercising regularly and eating clean) there is no need for 'magic'. 

Time to get honest with yourself. Are you putting in the time? Or are you hopeful that there is a shortcut? Are you truly giving your body the best fuel, or do you have 'cheat' meals, days, weeks...?

Are you hitting the weights as well as cardio and meditation? Are you drinking enough water and getting enough sleep? Or are you cutting a workout short, skipping the water cooler and staying up to catch up on your favourite tv show? 

It takes work, mega work, to do it perfectly right all of the time. It is more than ok to enjoy a deep dish pizza with a pitcher of beer. It is completely fine to put your feet up and binge watch Netflix...but you need to recognize that only hard work will bring you lasting results. At times it will feel as though the hard work is not paying off. It is a slow process and that is why the promises of 'easy' are so damn attractive. But it isn't easy. Read the small print. You will find you still need to put in the work...or if there is no work required it may affect your health negatively (read: warnings, side effects, precautions...). 

The good news, it is worth it. You are worth it. And after you put in all that time and effort, reaching your goal will be more rewarding than you can imagine. Stay focused. And if you lose focus, that's ok..., try again. Three steps forward, two steps back, is still going forward. Remember it is slow. It is hard. It is worth it. 

Stay happy and healthy

www.jomoma.ca

Wrinkles and yoga pants

Facebook...Twitter...Instagram....Television...Magazines...Billboards... There is always something somewhere reminding you that you are not quite good enough. 

Wrinkles? You need a moisturizer with age resistance serum. 

Want a runway model's body? Click on the following link that will detail the diet that is loaded with zero calories and have you ready for that little black dress. 

Cellulite! Act now! Book an appointment with skilled freeze agents that are cryogenic masters...limited spots still available. 

Let us not forget about the urgency to stop wearing track and yoga pants...since that will ruin your marriage or lure men to lust after you. 

Look, I totally get sucked into believing some advertisements as much as the next gal, but it is time to share what I know to be TRUE:

1) When you spend more time laughing than not, you get 'laugh lines'. Having had opportunities to smile, should be enough reason to wear them proudly on your face. Stop calling them crows feet....

2) Models clothing is made for them. It is sewn to fit their body specifically for that one fashion show in a single moment of time. One size fits ONE. Besides...do you actually see what they are wearing? (I wouldn't want to be dressed like a deck of cards or a metallic crayon anyway.)

3) You really don't know how good you look naked. Seriously. I would hazard a guess most of us look down our noses (literally) at our bodies. OR we look at ourselves in the mirror, which is very one dimensional and usually cuts off a body part or two. Don't believe me? What happens when you get naked in front of your special someone? Do they run for the hills? Shield their eyes? I am going to guess...NO. 

4) Cellulite? Yep. Most of us have it. Ever been kicked out of bed for it? See 3. 

5)  Track pants ruin marriages!? Baaahaaaa.  Umm, you know how fast track pants can come on and off? See 3. 

6) Yoga pants make men silly in the pants? Ummm, ok... so pants that double as pjs and passable errand attire are hot? Fantastic! I could use something to distract from my hair, which I likely haven't brushed....in a week.  

Basically it comes down to ignoring the manufactured nonsense, the filtered pictures, and the bazillion dollar industry that is focussed on making you feel less perfect....and embracing the sexy goddess that you are in stretchy pants. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

My path.

Why I do what I do....

I have lofty aspirations to change the world. To be fair, I identified that it was 'lofty' so I should be given some leeway no? 

I chose post secondary education that I thought would have an impact. 1st it was journalism.  I wanted to report on world events and be the 'truth' lacking in 'news'. But my lack of keeping abreast with international/national/dorm room activities made that career path seem less...doable. 

I then thought I could be a sports caster, blazing the trail for women in a male dominated arena (no pun intended), but I discovered I could not give play by plays or valid colour commentary because I was too busy cheering for a team or player (this was university, so hormones were at a high...). 

Next stop, Nursing. Let me cut to the chase. I do not have fantastic bedside manner. I do not do well with whining, complaining, ...and that was just the doctors! I discovered I needed more.  If I was going to be in 'medicine' I wanted to be the Chief of the hospital. 

Soooo, next stop, Insurance. 

Ok, not really....but it was an insurance company. I started my 1st grown up career in Human Resources as a benefit administrator...and moved into a role of staff short term disability adjudicator. I gathered information, evidence, and even investigated staff for disability claims. This made me a very popular individual...not. I worked in a silo...which suited me just fine because I was still reeling at the discovery that 'grown-ups' were not any more mature than school kids. The petty office jealousies, the water cooler gossip, the brown nosers... It was not my scene. I felt I had been duped into adulthood, there must be something better.... 

On to law enforcement. I was a mother of two by then and had a sincere interest in making the world a better place for kids to grow up in. What better way than to wrangle up bad guys and protect people right!? Wrong. Again I found myself in a Neanderthal world. Old men and dinosaurs ruled the service. If I could play the game I could be successful (I don't like games...not even pictionary...), and after 10 years of shift work fighting bullies (both in the public and in my work place) I left. 

Present day, entrepreneur. I still want to impact the world positively. I want to create a sisterhood, where women lift each other up. I feel that my best avenue to do this is through health and fitness. Fit minds, bodies and self esteems are healthy....and I want to give women the tools, tips, motivation and support they need to reach fitness goals. Because I am not without faults: body image hang ups, discipline, organization, ... I can relate to many. I frequently declare a new diet, or a removal of a 'bad habit' and replace it with another... Like I said, I am not without faults. But, heck, I do have a plethora of 'experience'. And experience is what you get when you don't get what you want (if nothing else I am here to save you time....I know what does/doesn't work.)

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca

My inflated ego

It is nice to get an ego boost every once in awhile. An unsolicited compliment. Some sort of external nod of approval for how you look. If you have children (or beasts similar to mine), a boat load of fawning will not fix the vocalized observations they share:

"Daddy has bigger boobies than you" (yes, this may actually be just as awful for said 'Daddy', sorry hon, but misery loves company)

"Push-ups are harder for you because you weigh extra more right"? (I had been blaming old volleyball injuries...)

"You didn't do up your coat because you have a nice layer of fat..." (At least it's nice...but it was mostly because we were LATE)

"There was colour in your olden days wasn't there?" (On the plus side, the entire hockey team and parents got to hear that one) 

"You have crinkles near your eyes Mom...good for you!" (Yep...yay me!)

"It's funny how your bum jiggles...do it again Mom!...shake it!" (I aim to please)

"You played competitive sports!?...Weren't there any athletes?" (I was able to stop myself from sayin 'F#<k you'...win for parenting)

On my way out the door, scrambling to shove my mass of messy hair into a ball cap: "You don't need to look good, Dad loves you anyways"... (Word.)

I really should be thankful for my children ensuring my ego doesn't inflate to grotesque proportions...what with media, marketing and advertising always telling me how gorgeous and perfect I am.... Oh wait... 

Stay happy and healthy

www.jomoma.ca 

Who am I?

If you follow, you know I am a 40 year old mom of 4. I am married to my best friend. I own a dog that has eaten 3 couches. I walked away from a job that made decent money and had the perks of benefits and pension......I like coffee...and wine....and coffee...and wine...

I am a lot of things. No two people, including my children, know the same 'Sara'. Sounds pretty flaky. However, the way I see it, no two people bring out the same 'Sara', and for this I am thankful. 

I have those who use me as a safe for their secrets. Those who bounce ideas off of me. Some who require a confidence boost. Others that talk me off of the ledge. I have partners in crime, drinking buddies, friends who talk sh!t and others who wouldn't say sh!t even if their mouth was full of it. I have people who see me as a role model and others that see me as insecure and weak. I have friends, family, competitors, ego boosters, and deflators,...and for each of these there are predecessors and likely successors. Each and every one of these people see me in their own way. I serve a purpose/role for them and they do the same for me. 

I am forever connected to them, but for different reasons. They were my 1st. They were my last. They were a teacher.  They were a student. Some are my past, some my present and some will be my future. The amount of time spent in my life may be a forgotten moment, while others are in it until the end. 

In each person I attract or repel, I know it is because of something similar shared...and to me that has a significance I once never considered. The good, the bad, the ugly...all have an impact on who I am. 

I am more than the obvious role of friend, family, lover,.... I am the 4am ride from the airport. I am the stolen wallet from my dorm room. I am the borrowed $, the wet socks, the benched athlete, and the black eye. 

As I get older, I grow. I become more. Who I am, is defined by my experiences which I share with both those I know intimately and those I will never know their name. 

Who am I? Why, I am Sara of course. 

Stay happy & healthy

www.jomoma.ca 

When I am beautiful...

So I have been somewhat absent from the blogging world for a bit. It wasn't that I didn't have a topic, but rather I had too many bumping around in my head. Thanks to a fierce Goddess I get to call a friend, I have this blog topic to run wild with. 

 I was asked 'what makes you feel beautiful'? Or maybe it was, "when do you feel most beautiful"?...But questions and ideas dance and hide in my brain, so I will take some liberties with this. 

I let the question stew for a few days. I have flitted from the superficial to the deep. I thought one thing would stand out more than others, but the truth is, I am always changing. I am shallow and deep. So, in no particular order, please see my incomplete list of what makes me feel beautiful:

A great fitting pair of jeans. 

A long kiss. 

Muscles. 

A makeover from my little girl (the process...not the end result).  

Sun kissed skin. 

An unsolicited compliment. 

Helping somebody anonymously. 

A glass of wine. 

Red lighting. 

Red light AND a glass of wine... Total knockout! 

Dancing. 

Having my hair brushed. 

A cat call (easy, before I get a nasty comment... I too am a feminist, but I am yet to be offended by this...)

Soft, smooth skin (my own). 

Being jumped by my man (to my offspring: you read this at your own risk..)

White teeth. 

There is much more. And much less. The list is fluid. 

This was a great exercise. As odd as it may sound, it overwhelmed me at times. 

What makes you feel beautiful? 

Stay happy & healthy 

www.jomoma.ca 

The Real Detox

The 'detox' really got wind under it's wings in 2014 and continues to soar in 2015.  

The juicing/smoothie detoxes truly aren't the magic they claim to be :

*Yes, consuming liquid is easier on your digestive system, however, our systems were designed to 'digest'. They do not need a break, they need good food (no chemical laden schmidt).  Fibre, protein, fat, carbohydrates... are all necessary for optimal health. 

*Yes, you can lose weight quickly, however, it is not a permanent loss. It is a jolt to your system that will be rectified in a few weeks time. Bodies like to stabilize, that is why a slow and steady approach to weight loss is the better choice for permanent weight loss. 

*Yes, there is some mental clarity from a 'detox'. As we start to starve, the brain appears to have a 'fog' lifted. This will soon be replaced by confusion and/or hostility/frustration, this is why most marketed 'detoxes' only last up to 14 days.  

What is Detoxing. Simply: getting rid of Toxins. 

To detox effectively:

**Get rid of sugar from your diet. It is poison. YES poison. It is hidden in condiments, sauces, soups, mixes, crackers, breads, cereals, and more.  It disguises itself by changing its name (see: healthy-eating-tips/57-names-sugar) It is not just the candies, pop, and ice cream. Beware. 

**If you can't grow it or raise it in your backyard, don't put it in your body. The labels on foods ought not sound like a list for chemistry class. Treat your body like a temple, not a garbage dump. 

**Exercise. Bodies rid themselves of waste (toxins) by bowel movements and urination. ALSO by sweating. Get your sweat on by moving your body! 

**Pass up cocktail hour. (Don't shoot the messenger). Alcohol, is greedy. When consumed it causes the body to focus solely on it. Your body's energy is used to metabolize alcohol first, and as a result the other junk waits for its turn. Fat get stored. Liver and other organs house the toxins that alcohol has pushed to the back of the line. 

**Organize/clean your living and working spaces. There is a huge correlation between environment and health. How you 'feel' mentally in a tangible space WILL absolutely affect how you feel physically. 

**Review your relationships. Is the energy you put into a relationship a positive one? Surround yourself with like minded people. Be with those that lift you up and not drag you down. Sometimes we outgrow 'friends/family'. It is ok to move on. Happiness is healthiness. 

And with that, I wish you a life free of toxins 

Stay happy and healthy 

www.jomoma.ca

Labels

On food. On clothing. On people. 

Food labels identify the food.  What it is. Where it was grown/raised. What ingredients comprise it. How much fat, vitamin, fibre, carbohydrate...

Clothing labels state the size. What it is made with and who made it. 

Like food and clothing, people are labeled. Liberal. Muslim. Fat. Fit. Optimist. Dreamer. Criminal. Rich. Weak. .... 

A complex, unique individual is labeled generally by how they look, what they believe in, and even how they vote. This has got to stop. I am not, nor are you, one single thing. We are more like a recipe that the master chef keeps secret. 

I am not my religion or lack there of. I am not the political candidate I support in an election. I am not JUST the tired Mom, the coach, the wife, the ex, the athlete, the girl who got poison ivy on her a$$, the daughter inlaw, the 40 year old.... I am not JUST any one thing. I am ME. There is nobody else out there like me. There are no two people the same, so it is time the labelling stops. 

Easier said than done, when we also do this to ourselves. We give value to a title, such as Doctor, Professor, CEO, Celebrity, and believe with such 'labels', those people are successful, happy, rich, problem free. Similarly we assume that the low income earner, the homeless, and the person who lives alone, is poor, unhappy and lonely. We generalize to such an extent that we do not see how layered we actually are, and we believe that titles and labels are our identity.  

It is ok to be a hippy who is saving for a BMW. It is totally cool to be heavyset and run a marathon. It is simply awesome to enjoy having men open doors for you while marching for feminism. The only single thing you are, is YOU.  There is no mold. You can be any juxtaposition you choose. When we stop accepting a label, we can appreciate each other more. 

Stay happy and healthy

www.jomoma.ca